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Rawkward Phase

by Vortex Remover

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1.
I like you I wanted you to like me too But I suspect you're just pretending to Or maybe maybe maybe maybe Maybe I'm just paranoid It's so hard to prove I wish I could turn off my head It's got a technical glitch Mr. Manticore He says, "Yeah" He says, "Maybe Ms. Angelic Glow" Ms. Angelic Glow She says, "No, I don't like you, baby Mr. Manticore" Find the circuit to link your head to my head Find the circuit to link your heart to my heart Break the circuit that links your head to my head Break the circuit that links your heart to my heart Break the circuit Break the circuit Break the circuit Break the circuit Mr. Manticore He says, "Oh, Whoa whoa woe woe Ms. Angelic Glow" Ms. Angelic Glow She says, "Wait, Maybe I do like you Mr. Manticore"
2.
3.
Hi Jerry. This is your dad. They've got me on the hospital phone. Our... our cell phone is one five zero... uh... uhhhhh.... [click]
4.
Ocho... Ocho... Ocho... Ocho... Ocho... Gray shapes and beige shapes move Ocho... Keep bumping into you Ocho... Girl shapes and swirl shapes sway Ocho... Bump bump bump bump bump bump Ocho... Ocho... Ocho... Alarming and charming twine Ocho... This sex scene will make you cry Ocho... Don't tape over this! Ocho... Bump bump bump When I walk into a room Set your expectations to Question mark Ocho... Ocho... Ocho... Ocho... Ocho... Gray shapes and beige shapes move Ocho... Keep bumping into you Ocho... Girl shapes and swirl shapes say Ocho... Bump bump bump
5.
An organism needs to be more cybernetic An organism needs to be more cybernetic I need to reprogram An organism needs to be more cybernetic An organism needs to be more cybernetic I need to reprogram I used to do it by myself Maybe that's why I'm such a -- Guess I just need a little help If I can find someone I need to reprogram
6.
You (space) said (space) I (space) don't (space) sing (space) about (space) space (space) as (space) much (space) as (space) I (space) usually (space) do (period) I'm not teasin' Not this time There's no reason There's no -- Talking apes on a tiny spinning particle In a great big nothing I'm not leavin' 'Til I get answers Who's believin' This B.S.? Talking apes on a tiny spinning particle In a great big nothing, nothing You (space) said (space) I (space) don't (space) sing (space) about (space) space (space) as (space) much (space) as (space) I (space) usually (space) do (period)
7.
bOOb cube 03:35
Tally-ho And a yo-ho-ho Here we go a-wassailing Ipso facto Knife X-Acto Here's a pterodactyl wing Abracadabra Alchemy, algebra Hocus pocus Out of focus This is a magic spell H, I, J, K, L M, N, O, P, Q Because I love you This is a spatula Once belonged to Dracula Now it's a Scott Bakula This is a time machine Takes you back to Aberdeen Beware, beware the Stabber Queen Abracadabra Alchemy, algebra Hocus pocus Out of focus This is a magic spell H, I, J, K, L M, N, O, P, Q Because I love you
8.
9.
Every time, every time she looks out there There's a minotaur on her front stair There's a minotaur with a guitar Every time, every time she opens the door Mr. Minotaur says, "Hello." And then she calls the cops Every time, every time they take him away in chains Mr. Minotaur does not complain He dreams about Ms. Unicorn And he plays...
10.
Box of trash, secret stash Priceless artifact, very flash Put it on a plinth It's kinda kitsch, but I just like it Yeah Things you hang on the wall Don't take up too much space Because they're on the wall, because they're on the wall Because it's like two-dimensional Uh-huh Art project Science project Art project Science project I've been working on it Box of junk, treasures sunk They say it has no function, but we will debunk this Yes, yes, yes, it will exist If we make it so, if we make it So what?
11.
I hear a lot of voices out here in the wind They say, "Ah-ah," they say "Ah-ah" Every time you pass through a gate You're in a different place I hear a lot of voices out here in the wind They say, "Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah" Every space you fill with a thought Floats up until it pops I hear a lot of voices out here in the wind They say, "Ah-ah," they say "Ah-ah" Wooden wind chimes talk a lot of trash (shhh) Trash talking wind chimes talking that trash
12.
An old man came to the post office apparently just to complain that he's getting too much junk mail. There's only one employee working. There are four people in line. He's wasting everyone's time. She keeps telling him they legally have to put it in his mailbox if it's addressed to him, but he is welcome to throw it away after he gets it.
13.
14.
In the tunnel In the tunnel Tunnel tunnel Tunnel tunnel The Doctor gave me this advice: "What I do is lick my thumb And rub it on my nose to make me slide Through the tunnel more easily." These four faces are the combination To unlock the combination lock These four faces are the combination To unlock the combination lock These four faces are the combination To unlock the combination lock I'm pretty sure the cat can talk Says, "Hello, I hate you guys." Because we make eye contact sometimes Cats hate that Three escapers Three escapers Three escapers Three escapers I and The Doctor And the cat we call the Captain We escaped from the chasers We are the escapers We escaped from the chasers We are the escapers We escaped from the chasers We are the escapers We escaped from the chasers We are the escapers

about

About this album:

Hi! I'm Peter from Vortex Remover, and this is our first album. Let me tell you some interesting facts about it.

Halfway through recording the album, a vortex got into Rob's computer and swallowed most of what we had recorded. We quickly removed the vortex, but the damage had been done, and we had to start over.

Most of the instruments on this album were invented by us.

Rob played a thing he invented called "untz..." (pronounced oontz-dots) with the body of an explorer guitar and the neck of a 'cello, but instead of strings, it had buttons which triggered drum sounds.

I played a three-string toy guitar, which I call a "hafgit." I also played a toy accordion ("t'acco") and another invention of Rob's called "paprika" which was a keyboard with a joystick and a bunch of wires. Unfortunately it broke soon after.

The song "Mr. Minotaur Says Hi" features Julian Snow on an instrument of his own invention called "zi-mar," which is a small zither glued to the top of a toy piano.

The lyrics of "Jerry's Dad's Wrong Number Voicemail Msg" are an actual voicemail I received. I tried to call the guy back to tell him he dialed the wrong number, but no luck. I hope he was able to reach his son before he died.

The song title "8888888888888888888888" is pronounced "ocho."

Our friend Justin once described our music as "awk-rock," because we were so awkward on stage. Later I misremembered this as "rawkward" when coming up with the name of the album.

credits

released March 5, 2017

Album credits:

Produced by Groves. Songs by DeGroot, except "value zero is not a valid name, parts 1-3" and "A Machine with a Horrible Name" by DeGroot/Groves, and "Jerry's Dad's Wrong Number Voicemail Msg" by DeGroot/Jerry's Dad.

Peter DeGroot - hafgit, t'acco, paprika, vocals, etc.
Rob Groves - untz..., casio sk-1, percussion, vocals, etc.
featuring Julian Snow - zi-mar on "Mr. Minotaur"

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Vortex Remover Salem, Oregon

If you have a vortex and you need it removed, you know who to call.

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